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| Pack rat
Pockets: 5 books,
squares of paper, 3 pens, pen light, reflex
hammer, wallet, cell phone, keys, pager, ID and stethoscope. Oh,
and the occassional Clif Bar. All fit into my white coat
pockets -- which doubles my thickness, adds 5-10 pounds to my frame,
and will probably cause future chronic back problems.
Behold: the power of a piece of plastic -- I
lost my school ID on Thursday, and felt as if my superman
powers had disappeared! Not only was I unable to definitively identify myself, but I
was barred from doors and rooms, could not ride the aerial
tram, and would not have been able to get a free soda from Chipotle
with my next meal! Absolutely debilitating. I finally found
it later that evening. It was blending into my kitchen tiles....amongst
the clutter of chips and candy.
Steps 1 - 4: The
number of steps it takes me to pay a bill. 1. open
bill 2. write check 3. put check in envelope, address
and stamp 4. put bill in mailbox. (Each step taking
anywhere from a minute to weeks) This is probably why I have
bills piled high on every available surface.
Step 1 down, & that's about it:
I keep receipts because somehow the action makes me feel financially
responsible. The reality is that I don't do ANYTHING with the
receipts, besides put them into a huge neatly stacked pile.
Eventually I would like to be financially mature enough to actually
keep track of what I spend....so I guess I will at least keep
doing the first step of accomplishing this: collecting impressive amounts of receipts from Walmart, Safeway, Starbucks...
Bathroom sink: This
morning I looked at my bathroom sink, and realized how ridiculous it
looked. Piled around the faucet are 3 toothbrushes, 2 tubes of
toothpaste, 2 sets of contacts, 3 sets of floss, 2 bottles of handsoap,
(and then my mouth guard and mouthwash). You would think that 2-3
people shared that bathroom. But how embarressing -- it is just
me and my needless toiletry clutter.
Collecting: Last week it
was a picture of squash I found in the Oregonian. This week it
was a picture of an avocado in a cooking magazine. Plus a bunch of
awesome pictures of oddly arranged fruits and veggies in a
forward. My kitchen will soon be adorned with pictures of fruits and veggies....I
think this is hereditary (my parents collect the same because of their
old produce store.)
Folders: is the
"creative" name of the folder I use to organize all of my computer
files. It probably holds about 50% of files I have saved on my
computer. The rest free float on my desktop. Yes, it is
impossible to look for anything in a timely manner...but I eventually
find what I am looking for...usually.
And (electronically-speaking) that's not all: I have 2056 messages in my email inbox. About 300 are unopened, (and will probably stay unopened).
Letting go: Reams of my
1st and 2nd year notes are stacked around my desk and in my
closet. I haven't thrown away a single syllabus -- even from the
classes I still hate and think are idiotic! I told myself I would
burn all of my notes as soon as 3rd year started...but somehow I can't
throw 'em out! And so they wait, collecting dust, causing
allergies.
Clutter: is the theme of
this entry -- hard evidence of my materialism and debilitating
ridiculousness, because of how little of it all I need!
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| The EXCITEMENT: of having my first car!
The FREEDOM: to do this so-called "running to the store for a jug of milk/cup of sugar/dozen eggs" thing
The POWER: to realize
that I can drive by myself....even without the help of my passengers to
help me change lanes and park (well, I could still use lotsa help with
the parallel kind!)
The CHALLENGE: to learn the parameters of my car (er, especially the R hand side)
The BEAUTY: of traveling up and down Highway 101 during my first 1000 miles shared with my car
The MYSTERY: of Phantom Gray (my car's official color)
The AMUSEMENT: of deciding on a
name (it is either "The Phantom Mobile" or "The Shifter"...suggested by
med school friends that call me "Shifty" for reasons totally unbeknownst to me)
The IRONY: of looking into my rear-view mirror and realizing that my passengers are those that have given me rides for many-a-years
and on a somewhat related note:
The WONDER: of why some of my friends think that "Cars" is the best Pixar movie.....
The SUPERIORITY: of Kia commercials (don't tell me you don't want to play Musical Parking Spaces after watching 'em!)
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| I started my 3rd year this week, and noticed this card sticking out of
a classmate's white coat pocket. I was immediately struck by the
one line I could see, "My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going,"
as that is EXACTLY how I feel lately. (Well, let's be honest -- I
OFTEN feel that way!) I asked to read her little card, and was so
extremely touched by the eloquent honesty of what I read that I asked
to make a xerox so I could also carry this in my white coat and wallet
too. I hope that this will be an awesome reminder of His presence throughout next year and beyond:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the
road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will
end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that
I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing
so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact
please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am
doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that
desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the
right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I
trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of
death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will
never leave me to face my perils alone.
--Thomas Merton -- Thoughts in Solitude
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| When I was growing up (er....maybe that should be "as I grow up") the phrase "go home, cook rice" became really
popular. The phrase refers to dinner in Hawaii, and how even if
you don't know what you are eating that nite, you can bet that rice
will go with it. My family definitely followed this saying.
Every day when we came home, my mom would put rice on the stove, and it
would go
with anything we ate that night -- from steak to cornbeef cabbage to
chili -- or stand strong as an ono meal of fried rice, musubi or
sushi. Rice is a staple. It is a constant. A
guaranteed winner each and every
time.
Now living on my own, away from HI it's "go home, cook rice":
- 'cuz I have nothing else to eat
- 'cuz I have nothing else I want to eat
- 'cuz it's the easiest thing to make
- 'cuz it still goes with everything, even tuna fish and tomato
sauce. (tuna fish & tomato sauce = equally easy meal makers)
- 'cuz it's a little reminder of home (must be why many of my hs friends and i took up a rice cooker to the mainland)
- 'cuz rice is still a constant in my life -- never
changing, always nourishing, never leaves me feeling empty.
Other rice randomocity:
- My mom bought me a gohan (rice in Japanese) shirt for Christmas, that I wear all the time!
- Once I cooked rice and forgot about it....for a week. FYI rice left out x1 week grows fluorescent
aqua blue mold. yummmm
delish!!
- In the words of our freshman ACF t-shirt, likened to Mr. Vanilla Ice himself -- "rice rice baby" 
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| "Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Never being home during Christmas break is something my baby
brother regrets. It ticked off my mom BIG TIME, and so she
decided to "enforce family values" and made him
spend his glorious spring break with me. His bossy older
sister. He's young - only
19 - a HUGE seven years from my 26, and the difference is
palpable beyond just age:
His freshman college world. My medical/grad school/grown up job one.
His hip-hop, rap, and Hawaiian music. My every other kind of music.
His promise to never run/jog again. My desire to jog every day if I can.
His interest in sleep, and War Craft. My
interest in mornings, and making fun of War Craft.
His lack of interest in
leaving my dark dreary apartment. My insistence that we get out and about.
His "sanitary" habits, and my more "thorough" ones.
There is a disconnect and with
his one word answers and unwillingness to get away from the computer,
there have been times this break, where I have
pretty much wanted to
SCREAM:
GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I think things are coming
around, though. Because, for every 1 in
a 100 questions, I get more than one word as a response. Then for
1 in a 1000, a real
conversation develops. And we talk about things that we do
indeed share: Like living on the west coast, and our interests in movies and food. Then stuff that
we forgot
we shared: Our parents. Our other brother. The place
we grew up in, and the people we grew up with. And then
stuff that we don't share: I now know things about Sparta, cars,
poker, and other 19 year old guy stuff that I would never have otherwise
known.
Things will come around....and it won't always take me dragging him away from his freaking War Craft to get there.
Here at the Pittock Mansion. I insist we take a picture with every blooming cherry blossom tree we see.
Soaked at a Columbia River gorge waterfall.
At Saburo's. Yes, those unagi sushi are the length of my forearm.
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